


War Of Hearts

by So_Uncreative



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, Closure, Crushes, First Dates, First Kiss, First Meetings, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Love Triangles, M/M, Mabel Tseng carries this entire fic and is the best character, Unrequited Love, but between who?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/So_Uncreative/pseuds/So_Uncreative
Summary: Despite his friendship with Emmett Dixon blossoming into more, Levi Schmitt can't seem to untangle himself from Nico Kim.
Relationships: Levi Schmitt/Emmett Dixon, Nico Kim/Levi Schmitt
Comments: 66
Kudos: 46





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This was an entire that I discussed with a few people over on Tumblr and I'm so happy to finally say that I've gotten around to writing it! Enjoy...

“Why aren’t you ready yet?” Taryn asked in way of greeting once Levi had finally opened the door to his and Jo’s loft. Taryn stood there with her arms crossed and Levi cursed upon noticing how dressed up she looked, having forgotten their plans to go out that night. For the past week, Taryn had spent most of her free time telling Levi that it was about time that he got back out there after his break-up with Nico and it was once she'd somehow gotten Jo on side that Levi finally cracked. He knew that living with Jo meant that they would more likely than not grow closer, but she was the last person he expected to be trying to persuade him to stop moaning about his break-up, considering it was one of the few activities that they did together.

“I decided that a nap was a good idea before we went out and I accidentally overslept. I'm sorry” Levi lied, knowing that his wrinkled clothing and messy hair would trick her into believing him. In truth, he had spent the past few hours binge-watching some random serial killer documentary on Netflix – his and Nico’s second favorite past time when they were together. Levi wasn’t about to tell Taryn this though as he couldn’t bear being on the receiving ends of one of her unimpressed glares. For a couple of weeks of his newfound singledom, Taryn had been nothing but supportive as he cried over his broken heart -something in which Jo had been a great companion in doing- but after some time, Taryn began to accuse him of wallowing in his own pain. Levi had thought these accusations were baseless until she pointed out how frequently he refreshed Nico's various social media pages in the off chance that the other man might've posted something, it was then that Levi began to wonder if his best friend might have had a point.

“It's fine" Taryn sighed, pushing past him, and entering the apartment. As Levi closed the door being her, he chuckled to himself wondering if his friend would have been so brazen if Jo had been in the apartment. For the brief period that Levi had stayed with Nico after moving out from his mother's basement, Taryn had seemingly made the other man's apartment her own as well. She'd spent various nights on the couch and at one point, Levi had seen Nico’s eyes turn comically wide as she began pawing through his cabinets looking for snacks as if she was the one who occupied the space and not him. Looking back, Levi wondered how Nico had possibly refrained from snapping at Taryn. Now that he was living with Jo though, it was different. Taryn made anxious small talk and asked permission if she needed to use the bathroom if the other woman was also home. Levi sometimes wondered if the change in Taryn’s attitude was because she had realized her mistakes with Nico or if she just held more respect for the attending who was now Levi’s roommate.

Levi watched as his friend began rooting through the part of the closet that was designated to him and refrained from rolling his eyes as his friend judged each item he owned. Taryn spent a few more minutes digging through his drawers until she found an outfit for him that she was satisfied with, knowing that Levi wouldn’t have cared if he rocked up to Joe’s Bar in the clothing he currently had on if she didn’t force him to change. Some people might have branded her cruel for forcing Levi to come to the bar with him but Taryn truly did believe that it was exactly what Levi needed so she ushered him into the bathroom to get changed and waited impatiently on the couch for him to finish.  
Taryn had noticed that a documentary was paused on the TV, confirming that Levi had been lying to her about napping but chose not to mention it, she wanted tonight to be absolutely drama-free for him.

-

Emmett frowned as he twirled his finger around the rim of his empty whiskey glass, contemplating just how sad he must look sitting alone at the bar. It had been another long day of work and while he was happier working in the coffee shop by the hospital than he’d been as a fire station, it still not something that he wasn’t exactly passionate about hence the drowning his sorrows in Joe’s bar. Although he’d been hoping to enjoy his drink in somber silence, the bar seemed to be particularly busy that night and Emmett had to suppress a groan when he realized that there was a trivia night taking place. It wasn’t that Emmett hated general knowledge or trivia but being surrounded by quiz teams made drinking alone at the bar seem slightly more pathetic than it already was.

By the time Emmett realized what was taking place, he’d already ordered another drink for himself and sighed as it was served to him, deciding that it would be the last one he’d enjoy before heading home. Part of him wished that he had friends that he could have invited to join him in the quiz but with everything that had gone down with his breakups with both Alicia and Travis, Emmett really felt as though he had nobody. Even if he and Travis had promised to try and be friends, Emmett was still far too nervous to be the one to reach out to the other man, fearing that he may accidentally give off the wrong impression of what he was seeking. Rather than letting himself dwell on the thoughts that had crept into his mind as he sipped on his whisky, Emmett found himself listening on the quiz and although he wasn’t partaking as part of a team, he couldn’t help but play along in his head.

That is until the team sitting at the bar beside him began complaining about one of the art based questions that the host of the night had asked, the girl seemed far more annoyed about it than her companion who sipped his beer as she ranted “I mean how are we possibly supposed to know who was famous for his creepy obsession with ballerinas! Who knows these kinds of things?”

“People who like the art I assume” the man answered and Emmett bit his lip in order to not to laugh as the woman glared at him. If Emmett has been the one on the receiving end of her rather intense glare, he would’ve probably been cowering in his seat and he couldn’t help but admire the man for being so unaffected by it. He wasn’t quite sure what possessed him to do it but just before the host moved onto the next question, Emmett found himself leaning into the space of the man slightly, so he could whisper the answer to them.

“The answer is Edgar Degas and his obsession with ballerinas was not creepy. He admired the human condition of the ballerinas rather than the ballerinas themselves”

"And who are you?" Taryn asked with a raised eyebrow, feeling confident after the various shots of tequila that she and Levi had taken. Levi only grinned as he wrote the answer provided by the stranger, happy that Taryn finally had another person to focus on so that he no longer had to listen to her trying to encourage him to flirt with the new bartender.

"I'm a person who likes art"


	2. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really surprised that anyone even read the first part of this, let alone left comments and kudos so thank you to those who did :) This fic is purely self-indulgent and I am having a great time writing it! I will say that for those of you who don't watch Station 19 who will read this, there will be some spoilers threaded throughout out, mainly for Emmett of course. I was half thinking of just keeping this strictly as Levi and Nico's POV but with it being also including the Schmixon relationship, I felt as though I needed to give Emmett some of his own time ya know?...enjoy...

“Are you almost finished?” Levi asked, trying not to move a muscle as he spoke. He was sitting on the couch in the loft facing the canvas that his friend has set up earlier in the day and he was growing rather restless watching Emmett switch from his pencil to his eraser for what Levi guessed was the thirteenth time in ten minutes. It wasn’t that the pose he was in was uncomfortable, it just felt like he’d been in that position for hours rather than the mere thirty minutes Emmett had promised him it would take for him to draw him. “I’m getting kind of hungry here”

“Almost” Emmett’s reply was muffled as he spoke around the pencil he was chewing on. Emmett had been taking art classes trying to improve his skills of live drawing and while Levi had been more than kind to agree to model for one of his assignments there was just something about Levi’s eyes that he couldn’t seem to get right. Emmett’s eyes were more focused on the portion of the drawing that he was erasing, rather than on Levi who began to tap his fingers on his knees where they were resting, he really didn’t understand how anyone could model like this professionally. Emmett placed his eraser down and cracked his neck before focusing on Levi again, he was determined not to test Levi’s patience any longer. “You have to stop moving, otherwise I’m going to have to start all over again, and then you’ll just be left without pizza for a few more hours”

“Fine, but only because I’m excited about that pizza” Levi stopped tapping his fingers immediately at the threat of having to wait any longer for the pizza that Emmett had promised to pay for to thank him. He had originally been planning on spending his day off lazing around the loft but when Emmett called him, asking if he would be up for helping him with one of his assignments for the new life sketching class, he was taking to hone his skills once again. When Emmett finished his pleading with the promise of pizza, Levi agreed and couldn't help but think that posing for Emmett was far better than spending his day on the couch alone. They had exchanged numbers the night of the trivia night at Joe’s bar, a few weeks back after Emmett supplied Levi and Taryn with the correct answer and had accidentally ended up joining their team for the rest of the night. The three of them had been rather unstoppable, only losing points on every sports question, and when Taryn went up to collect their prize, Levi bit the bullet and asked Emmett for his number. Taryn had teased him relentlessly about his friendship with Emmett, assuming that there was something more that existed between them, but Levi always shut her down. Levi had surprised even himself with how fast he and Emmett grew so close, but he supposed it was just because as well as sharing various things in common, they were also at very similar points in life.

Recently out, recently heartbroken and beginning to wonder if they should really try and get back out there. 

“I had the longest day ever-” Jo began, not looking up from her phone as she walked into the loft. If he had been allowed to move, Levi would have raised a knowing eyebrow at Emmett. There was only one reason why anyone could be as glued to their phone as she was and if Levi didn't still find Jo to be rather intimidating, he would've teased her about her new beau. Once Jo had hit send on the text, she looked up and grinned at the scene in front of her “Oh hey, Emmett. I didn't know you were coming by today”

“It was a bit of a last-minute thing” Levi admitted, letting his shoulders relax for a moment. He quickly straightened back up after noticing Emmett's glare and Jo chuckled as she moved to look at the canvas “Sorry, I forgot I'm not allowed to move or talk until he's finished”

“This is so gorgeous Emmett!” Jo exclaimed and Levi watched helplessly as Emmett stopped drawing to talk to Jo about the sketch. Although Levi was too kind to tease Jo, she did not return the favor and he worried that a remark about nude modeling lay on the tip of her tongue. Thankfully after a few minutes of Emmett explaining the sketch, Jo's phone pinged with a message and she smiled at them both “I'll just go make a quick call in the hall and leave you two to finish. If you asked me though, I think you've pretty much drawn a masterpiece”

“It's not hard when my model is already a work of art” Emmett smiled after her. Levi was thankful that the man wasn't shading the piece because he was sure that Emmett couldn't possibly find the shade of crimson that his words made Levi blush. Sometimes Levi couldn't help but think that Jo and Taryn's teasing about something more existing between them was all that hard to believe, especially when Emmett said something like that. They said in silence for a few more moments with Emmett sketching and Levi in deep thought about the words that his friend had said before Emmett dropped his pencil and proudly declared that he was finished.

“Finally,” Levi groaned, falling back onto Jo's bed, and letting his entire body relax. Emmett only chuckled in response before he began to pack up his pencils and other materials, not willing to leave anything behind considering how much they had cost “Do I get to see it?”

“If you get up from the bed then yes” Emmett nodded nervously, as he retrieved his phone from the coffee table to check the various notifications he'd ignored while sketching. He wasn't sure why he was so nervous to show Levi the sketch, he'd never known the other man to be anything but kind and although Emmett was not a cocky man, he usually found himself confident in his own work to show it off. Lately, something about the other man just left Emmett feeling as though he needed to impress him. As Levi inspected the sketch in awe, Emmett's eyes scanned the texts from Travis and bit his lip “Oh”

“Oh? What's wrong?” Levi asked, pulling his eyes from the flattering image on the canvas and focusing on his friend. The sketch had honestly shocked Levi. Of course, he'd known that his friend was an artist, but he truly hadn't expected Emmett to be that good and he was glad that Emmett hadn't asked for feedback because Levi truly didn't think he could put it into words how impressed he was. 

“Well, you know Travis?” Levi nodded. He had not yet actually met the man but had heard many stories about him from Emmett and Levi felt as though he truly did know the man. Over the past few weeks, as Emmett's friendship with Levi blossomed, he also began to feel the awkwardness from his friendship with Travis begin to fade and had even reached out to make lunch plans the week before with Travis without second-guessing himself. He'd found himself telling Travis quite a lot about Levi and had done his best to ignore the man's assuming smile “He's got a spare ticket for a drag show downtown and was wondering if I could come with him and-”

“A drag show sounds way more fun than having pizza with Jo and me as we talk about work?” Levi asked with a raised eyebrow and a playful smile, given the choice Levi definitely knew which one that he'd pick. Emmett only nodded and although he laughed, Levi appreciated the man's honesty. Honesty was something that Levi felt Nico had never given him during their time together. it had been quite some time since they broke up but whenever he caught a rare glimpse of the man at the hospital, Levi felt a mix of confusing emotions be stirred up within him. Half the time he was furious with Nico for hiding the truth from him for so long and the other half, he felt pity for Nico for the fact that he had felt the need to hide such a big part of him away from his parents.

“Would you hate me if I put a rain check on thank you meal? Maybe instead of pizza, we could go out for dinner on Friday? I'd pay of course” Emmett offered, hoping that Levi was not working Friday night. He was torn about staying with Levi or going to hang out with Travis and hoped the other man's reaction would help him decide “Travis says if I'm coming, I have to meet him at his place in like 30 minutes…”

“Go!” Levi encouraged with a smile. He admired the fact that despite their complicated history that Emmett and Travis had remained friends, it was definitely not something he and Nico could've done “And take a bunch of videos for me so I can live vicariously through you okay?”

“Deal!” Emmett nodded as Jo walked back in from the hallway “Is it okay if I leave the canvas here till Friday? I don't have my car and it would only slow me down on my bike”

“Yeah, it's fine here. I'll see you Friday”

“It's a date” Emmett smiled before saying goodbye to Jo smiled mischievously at Levi once she'd shut the loft door behind Emmett. Levi could already see the cogs turning in her mind and resisted the urge to groan aloud before she spoke.  
“It's a date?” 

“No, it's-. We're just hanging out as friends” Levi told her, cursing himself silently for stumbling over his words. Whenever he did so, it made him sound as though he was lying. The accusations that their friendship was something more was making Levi grow more defensive lately and he didn't completely understand why. Realizing that her roommate wasn't in the mood for her gentle ribbing, Jo turned her attention back to Emmett's canvas with a smile.

“It's almost scary how perfect the portrait is” she commented, and Levi found himself having to agree. The sketch that Emmett had created was so realistic that Levi wouldn't be surprised if the image blinked at him and Jo. The fact that Emmett had focused so much on small details like his stubble and cracked lips had all contributed to the beauty of the sketch and it made Levi feel pretty nice. Levi wasn't sure if it was just an artist thing or an Emmett thing, to show so many small details but from the image, he couldn't help but think that he must look rather good through Emmett's eyes.

-

“I’m a bit surprised you’re actually coming” Travis admitted once the pair of them had exchanged greetings. Emmett had arrived at Travis' apartment a little while before they had to leave for the bar, having gotten very quickly, and was lounging on the other man’s couch as Travis poured him a drink “I thought as soon as you mentioned you were Levi that I wouldn’t hear from you again until tomorrow”

“We’re not sleeping together” Emmett stated, knowing that Travis was very suspicious of his friendship with Levi. The thing about Travis was that he was perceptive, he’d noticed the lovestruck tone that Emmett talked about Levi with – even through text messages -and how even the mention of the man’s name brought a grin to Emmett’s face. It was puppy love and Travis had to admit that it was pretty adorable. He’d been worried that after everything that had gone down between them and between Emmett and Alicia that Emmett would have sworn off love forever. 

"But you want to?"

“I really want to!” Emmett nodded with a blush. It wasn't that talking to Travis, the first man he'd ever loved, about his love life that made him blush, it was the thoughts of all the things he wanted to do with Levi. He normally would change the topic when Travis asked about Levi but after spending the day staring at Levi's face, Emmett found it difficult to deny his feelings.

Emmett could pinpoint the exact moment when his feelings for Levi switched from friendly admiration to something more, it was a little over three weeks ago when the man finally stopped by the café in which Emmett worked in. It was a quiet morning and although Levi had kept saying that he’d eventually swing by Emmett hadn’t fully believed him until a bleary-eyed Levi walked in at 8.00 AM and declared that he was in need of caffeine. Emmett had smiled as he made Levi his coffee and when he turned around to Levi again, he was shocked to find himself thinking how gorgeous the other man had looked in the usually harsh lighting of the café. Emmett didn't just find Levi physically attractive though, he was also in awe of the other man's intelligence and the passion with which he spoke with. Levi was, to put it simply, the ideal man in Emmett's eyes. 

“I don’t know why you haven’t just asked him out yet” Travis admitted as he came to sit beside Emmett on the couch. Emmett took the drink that Travis held out for him and took a few sips of his drink so that he could avoid answering Travis question. Sadly for Emmett, Travis was still as perceptive as ever “Oh my god, what have you done?”

"We have plans on Friday night. It's not necessarily a date but it could maybe turn into one…” Emmett trailed off, hoping that Travis wouldn't ask exactly what Emmett meant by that because Emmett wasn't really sure. He had practically fled Levi's apartment after calling their plans on a Friday date but Emmett had decided that if he could work up the nerve to do it, he would confess his feelings to Levi “I just don’t know how to do this, date a man I mean”

“Well” Travis began, trying to cage whether or not Emmett actually wanted his input or just needed someone to listen “It's pretty much the same as dating women except you don't have to fake your attraction”

“Trust me, Travis, when it comes to Levi I'm not going to fake anything” Emmett replied firmly. Although they'd only known each other a few months, Emmett and Levi had discussed everything from how their parents had treated them as they grew up to how they'd both had their hearts broken by the first man that they'd fallen in love with. Levi had listened to Emmett's side of the story about his engagement to Alicia and his affair with Travis and had not expressed judgment for any of them. Emmett, however, had struggled to return the favor of not expressing judgment when listening to Levi talk about Nico. Emmett could empathize with Nico's situation, having gone as far as getting engaged to Alicia to hide the truth about his sexuality from his father, but couldn't help but feel a twinge of anger at the man as well. It had shocked Emmett to hear Levi defend Nico and while most people might have accused Levi of still holding feelings for his ex upon hearing him become so defensive, Emmett had viewed it as just another thing that made Levi so attractive. The kindness he showed to everyone, including those who had hurt him.


	3. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I genuinely expected like three people to read this and I'm absolutely blown away by the amountnt of kudos, hits,, and comments that this work has received. Thank you so much! I'm gonna keep trying to whack out updates but this chapter took a bit longer as I worked on prompts over on my Tumblr (Herrera-n-Hayes) and wrote an entire Carina DeLuca centric fic here on Ao3. I hope the contents of this chapter were worth the wait..enjoy...

“Oh my god” Levi moaned, once he'd swallowed the forkful of cake “This cake is amazing”

“I told you this place would have the best dessert” Emmett smiled, trying not to let Levi's reaction to the cake make him blush. There was no way that Levi could make a noise like that without inspiring some rather dirty thoughts. When they'd been texting the night before about the restaurant that Emmett had made a reservation at for their dinner, Levi had practically had to beg to get any information from the other man who claimed it was supposed to be a surprise. The most that Levi could get from him was the advice to wear something fancy and to ensure he had enough room for both an amazing dinner and an even better dessert. 

Levi had surprised himself by managing not to freak out when Emmett ordered the taxi they'd gotten from the hospital where they'd met to take them to Altura, a restaurant far pricier and far fancier than what Levi had expected. It was the sort of restaurant with fancy table clothes, candles on the table, and an electric atmosphere that was caused by the sparks between all the couples that dined there. It was the last place that Levi had expected Emmett to bring him to and it was the last place that he ever expected to feel comfortable in. Throughout dinner, their conversation had flowed as easily as it always did but as they grew tipsier from the bottle of red wine that Emmett had ordered for them, more flirtatious comments and the occasional sexual innuendo began to creep into the conversation. 

The line between a friendly hang out and a date had been completely blurred and neither Levi nor Emmett were complaining.

Levi sunk his fork into the portion of chocolate fudge cake that he and Emmett had decided to share with one another and smiled as he watched the fudge sauce stream down the side as he did so. He hadn't been treated to many fancy dinners as of late and couldn't help but want to savor the moment. When he and Nico first started dating, the latter was determined to spoil Levi with fancy dinners and elaborate dates and Levi had loved every single second of it. He sometimes wished that he and Nico had been able to live in that honeymoon phase forever, wished that everything had not come crumbling down around them. 

“You were definitely right about the dessert” Levi agreed, knowing that when Jo and Taryn would ask about his night that he would definitely spend a good portion of the time raving about the cake. Emmett smiled at him as he took a forkful of the cake for himself, showing more restraint than Levi had by keeping in his satisfaction rather than expressing it aloud “So, I'm curious about something…”

“Okay, I'm nervous” Emmett laughed awkwardly. If he was being honest, he'd been nervous all night, hell all week even. He had spent the past few days filling Travis' inboxes with a series of both anxious and excited texts, cursing his friend when the only advice he received about the date was to be himself. Emmett knew himself and wasn't always impressed with the knowledge. He was clumsy and awkward and not the type of guy that guys like Levi would ever be into.

“It's nothing bad, don't worry” Levi chucked reassuredly. He had met Emmett that night with an open mind and didn't want to want to scare Emmett off before they had the chance to see where the night would end “I'm just curious about your plans for the future. I mean I know you're happy in the café and with your classes but it would be a shame for your talent to be wasted”

“You think I'm talented?” Emmett asked with a playful smirk, not teasing Levi about the intensity of the question like some others would've done. Emmett genuinely wanted to get to know everything about Levi and was excited that the man sitting across from him seemingly wanted to do the same.

“Of course, I do!” Levi exclaimed, thinking about the canvas that was still in his and Jo's loft. He'd spent quite a lot of the past few days staring it in between texting Emmett, it would be impossible to think of the man as anything but talented. Emmett's cheeks reddened with a gentle blush and Levi couldn't resist the urge to tease him about it “Why are you acting like people don't tell you that? I mean I assumed you had people busting down your door to tell you how good your art is”

“No, I don't. It's nice to hear it every once and a while though” Emmett admitted, not wanting to mention how Alicia used to be his number one supporter until he came out and called off their engagement. A week ago, he'd probably have told Levi all about Alicia and her encouragement but for some reason, the idea of discussing his ex felt inappropriate on that night. It was as though the mention of his past relationships could spoil the enjoyment of their evening.

“I don't know what I'm gonna do with my future if I'm honest. I know I want to keep creating art no matter what, I have applied to some galleries but haven't heard anything back yet”

“Well, I think they'd be lucky to have you working for them” Levi declared and they shared a smile before splitting what was left of their dessert between the two of them and savoring the flavor for a few more moments. When the cheque arrived, Levi instinctively reached for it and Emmett playfully slapped his hand away, reminding Levi that dinner was his treat. Levi thanked him with a large smile and once they stepped out of the restaurant, Levi felt an odd sadness wash over him at the thought that their night had drawn to an end “Hey Emmett, do you want to go get a drink? The night's still pretty young”

“I was just about to ask you the same thing”

-

What Levi didn't notice as he waited for Emmett to get their drinks was that Nico was sitting on the opposite side of Joe’s bar, scrolling through his phone to make the fact he was sitting alone look just a little less pathetic. 

He was there to meet Mabel for a drink but knew like always that she was going to be late so instead of ordering her cocktail for her as he'd usually do, Nico was stealing glances at the couple across the bar and beginning to feel increasingly sorry for himself. He recognized the man that Levi was sitting with from the various selfies of them both that had begun to litter Levi's social media pages as Emmett. Despite his best-efforts Nico had learned little about the man, not only because Emmett's social media pages were hidden behind the strictest privacy settings but also because the hospital gossip had become severely unreliable. Jackson Avery had claimed that Emmett was a firefighter, but Carina DeLuca had reported that he was in fact a barista and much to Nico's annoyance, neither could tell for certain if he and Levi were officially dating. Nico didn’t want to keep looking at the couple, but he’d gotten so used to searching for Levi in a room when he heard his loud laugh that it was almost like second nature, except now it was Emmett making Levi laugh like that. 

It wasn't that Nico didn't want Levi to be happy, it was just that he wanted Levi to happy with him.

“I'm so sorry that I'm late” Mabel announced as she placed her purse down on the table and slid into the booth. She had just come from the hospital and wanted to do nothing other than drink overpriced alcohol with Nico and complain about her shift, however, when she spotted the look on her friend's face, Mabel knew that it was unlikely that she'd have the chance. Since she'd started working at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, Mabel had found herself struggling to make friends with anyone outside her fellow PacNorth residents and Nico which often made her shifts difficult. She had a theory that the residents like Taryn and Levi didn't like her much for the simple reason that she'd become rather quick friends with Nico, the most hated attending amongst their resident class, but she couldn't bring herself to be that bothered. She much preferred Nico's company over theirs, even when he was moping.

“It's okay” Nico mumbled before taking a sip of his beer and trying not to look over at Levi again. Mabel had already spent the last few weeks, telling him it was time to get over the feelings that he was still harboring, he really didn't want to deal with her judgment at that particular moment.

“Huh?” Mabel cocked her head to the side in confusion at Nico's unusual response “Do you not have any snarky comments about my timekeeping? Usually, that's the first thing that you want to tease me about”

“Maybe I'm finally listening to your advice and turning over a new leaf” Nico shrugged, he was trying to play it cool but his own eyes betrayed him as they settled on Levi and Emmett once again. He wasn't sure why he kept glancing over to look at them, he knew it was going to cause a pang of pain to shoot through him every time he did so, and yet he couldn't stop. Mabel pursed her lips as she followed his gaze, biting back any of the snarky remarks that she was tempted to make when she turned back to Nico to see hurt evident on his face.

"Do you want to get out of here? We can go to my place, open a bottle of something strong and maybe order some take-out?” Mabel suggested, she knew that Nico probably wanted to be anywhere other than Joe's Bar with Levi and Emmett playing footsie under the table but she was still surprised when he agreed. Nico knew that it was probably pathetic to leave the bar just because he'd spotted his ex enjoying himself and he was thankful that Mabel didn't point this out to him. Although they'd only known one another a short while she really did seem to understand him better than anyone else, well outside of Levi that was. Nico knew that there had been multiple instances of him pushing Levi away throughout their relationship but each time Levi had come back, had made the effort to try and understand Nico's side of the story. Nico just wished that the fact he hadn't come out to his parents, people he barely saw or spoke to, hadn't been the final straw for Levi.

Once they were outside of the bar, the cold of the night air stung their cheeks slightly and Mabel linked arms with Nico in the hopes the gesture would offer him some comfort as they walked to her apartment. They walked in silence for a moment both lost in their own thoughts before Mabel sighed loudly “Are you seriously that hopelessly in love with him that you can't deal with even the sight of him with someone else?”

“It sounds sad when you say it” Nico commented, his defeated tone softening Mabel's judgemental expression “You don't know what we were really like when we were together. It was easy and fun-”

“Except when it wasn't”

“Except when it wasn't” Nico nodded, shoving her shoulder with his for interrupting “But even in those moments we were good together. He's the first person in Seattle that I got to know and it may sound foolish but I had plans for what our future was going to be like. We were going to have the beautiful wedding where he'd cry at the vows, the three-bedroom house with a garden for the kids and the dogs to play in. We were going to grow old together and it just slipped through my fingers. It's hard to let go of that kind of love, the kind where you are excited about waking up beside someone for the rest of your life knowing that each morning you will still be as happy to wake up beside them as you were the first morning”

“If that's the case then why don't you just tell Schmitt how you feel?” Mabel asked, of course, she'd known that the relationship that Nico and Levi had shared had been intense but she hadn't expected it to be as all-consuming as Nico described it. Hearing him explain what he'd envisioned for their future made her heartbreak for Nico “I mean, isn't hiding your truth from him what got you into this situation in the first place?”

“Sadly it doesn't work like that, he's happy with someone else and maybe it's time I figure out how to do that too”

-

Emmett had a tendency to notice the beauty in things. He saw hidden dimensions in the things he sketched, beauty in the wilting flowers of the fall, and most importantly the beauty in Levi's eyes as they stood outside Joe's Bar after last orders had been called. They glistened under the fluorescent light of the bar sign when he told Levi this, he didn't miss the bashful smile that graced his lips.

Levi's lips. 

They were something else that Emmett saw the beauty in but he refrained from commenting on it as they began to walk from the bar to Levi's loft, taking in the night air and tipsily thanking the universe that neither of them were due to work the next day. At some point during their walk, Levi took Emmett's hand in his and neither man dared comment on the spark of electricity that they experienced at the touch. This all felt so new to Emmett, although he'd been with guys before those experiences had mostly been random hook-ups to alleviate loneliness and horniness, never had he had to question each move he made or word that he said. It had even been easier with Alicia, but Emmett assumed that it was because his feelings for her hadn't existed beyond platonic ones. His feelings for Levi though were intense and complicated and he knew that he would probably spend the entire weekend spamming Travis with even more anxiously excited texts as he analyzed their night.

What Emmett didn't know is that Levi was also questioning each move he made and word he said, his bravery being enabled by the alcohol that caused through his system. When they arrived at Levi's building, he stood outside with Emmett as he arranged an Uber to pick him up and smiled to himself at how pretty Emmett's face was as it was illuminated by the light of his phone. The atmosphere between them was weird and electric as if something was about to happen between them, something that neither of them were quite expecting. 

Emmett's Uber appeared quicker than either of them expected and when he went to hug Levi goodbye, Levi surprised them both by taking Emmett's face in his hands and kissing him. The kiss was chaste and innocent, unlike the flirtatious words that they'd exchanged throughout the night but it was perfect and within mere seconds, Emmett recovered from the shock and began to kiss Levi back. When they broke apart, they both wore giddy smiles as they looked at one another shocked by what had just happened.

“You should swing by tomorrow around lunchtime if you want” Levi smiled, feeling as though he was floating on cloud nine. He might have been hesitant to agree with his friends when they expressed their opinions about how he and Emmett would be perfect together but after that kiss, Levi knew he'd probably begin to agree with them “You can pick up your canvas and we can nurse our hangovers together with coffee and Netflix”

“It's a date” Emmett smiled before leaning in and kissing Levi goodbye. This time there was no uncertainty about what his words meant, for they both knew that nursing their hangovers with Netflix and coffee would be the second date in a string of many.


	4. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to heat up! I was supposed to be working on some of the various prompts currently sitting on my ask box over on Tumblr and instead accidentally wrote an entire chapter of this. Oops. I hope ye like it and please, let me know what ye think...enjoy...

An orthopedic attending.

That position had been Nico's dream long before he started his internship and although he now had that position in one of the country's top hospitals, he wasn't happy because somewhere along the way, having Levi beside him became part of the dream as well. He'd spent quite a lot of his time with Levi, dreaming about the future that he was so sure they were going to have and although it had been months since they broke up, he was struggling to accept the fact that those dreams would never become a reality. Mabel had yet to bring up the fact he'd confided such dreams in her a few weeks ago when they escaped Joe's Bar after spotting Levi and Emmett together, something that Nico was genuinely thankful for.

Although the resident, whom he now considered to be his best friend, often teased him about everything from grammatical errors in the texts he sent her to the awkward incident where he'd completely missed the fact their waiter was flirting with him, Mabel never teased him about Levi. If anything, she completely avoiding even the mention of her fellow resident's name altogether. Whenever they’d discuss the latest hospital gossip, they stuck to the topics like the mess that was Teddy Altman’s infidelity or shocking reveal of Jackson and Jo’s relationship and avoided any story that involved Levi in any way. It may have seemed a bit extreme but both of them knew that if Nico was going to ever get over Levi, they had to try and ensure they gave Nico’s brain no reason to think of him or miss him.

It was something that was easier said than done, especially when Levi was assigned to Nico’s service for the first time. He had to pretend that overhearing Levi beg Zander Perez to switch cases with him didn’t sting as he waited outside the resident’s lounge for Levi to hurry up and meet him. If they were still dating, Nico was sure that Levi would have been excited about working his first case as an attending with him but instead it was a case that would be tinged with the awkwardness of their breakup, something they still had never talked about properly. When Nico had left Levi standing on the top of the stairs that day, he'd half-expected Levi to follow him and proclaim that their love would survive despite Nico's revelations through a series of metaphors in typical Levi style. Nico's heart stung every time he remembered that it had never happened, instead, Levi had gotten Taryn to collect his items from Nico's apartment and the woman had made her disdain evident to Nico making him feel even worse than he thought possible.

“Dr. Kim, I believe I'm on your service today” Levi's professional tone pulled Nico back to reality, and he nodded awkwardly at having been caught in a daydream. Levi stood with his shoulders back and hands hidden behind his back, similar to the stance that Casey Parker would often take naturally, and something about it saddened Nico, it proved that Levi no longer felt at ease in his presence.

“Yeah” Nico replied, hoping his own tone matched Levi's one “There's a kid, Luke Hale who was admitted last night. According to his chart, it seems as though he may have a mass on his leg so I want you to get him a CT as soon as possible and page me when you have the results”

If they were still together, Levi would've commented on how attractive it was when Nico bossed him around but now the thought made Levi feel guilty. He was with Emmett, he had no right to think that another man was attractive. Levi only nodded before excusing himself to go check on the patient and once he was gone, Mabel appeared by Nico's side and slouched against the same way that Nico had “I would've swapped with him but I'm working with Dr. Shepherd this week and-”

“You find orthopedics to be boring?”

“Yeah” Mabel nodded, relieved when Nico cracked a slight smile at her instant agreement “Just try and play it cool okay?”

“I promise, I'll do my best”

An hour later when Nico received a page from Levi to say he had the scans, he took a steadying breath and let his promise to Mabel play on a loop in his mind. The last time that he had worked on a kid with cancer with Levi, they had ended the day by making out in an elevator and while it was something that Nico wouldn't be opposed to, he knew it was something that couldn't happen again. Especially when he remembered that three days ago, Levi had posted a picture of him and Emmett, referring to the latter as his boyfriend in the caption. Nico didn't find the sting in his heart at that word to be unexpected, he had accepted the fact that he was most definitely not over Levi yet.

When he entered sat beside Levi at the nurses' station to review the scans, the images weren't the first thing that Nico noticed, instead it was how Levi was nervously tapping his fingers on the counter. A telltale sign that something was bothering him A telltale sign that something was bothering him.“Are you alright Le- Dr. Schmitt?”

Levi arched his eyebrow at the way Nico had almost messed up and called him by his first name but chose not to mention it “Yeah, I've just been having a rough morning. Nothing that a good cup of coffee and a surgery won't fix”

Nico only nodded, although he didn't believe what Levi was saying for one second. He wanted to push, find out what was really bothering the man, and try to fix it but that was not his place, not anymore. His eyes shifted from Levi's fingers which he was still tapping against the counter to the images on the screen and Nico sighed, confirming Levi's suspicions about what they were showing “Well, it looks like you'll be getting that surgery. There are quite a few masses on this kid's bone.”

\- 

“That was impressive, you were impressive in there” Levi grinned, once he followed Nico out of the OR and into the scrub room. Nico couldn't help but grin back at him, feeling as though he was floating on cloud nine for the first time in a long time. He'd been performing surgeries as an attending for weeks now but the one he'd just performed had undeniably been one of his best. Nothing had gone wrong and he hadn't second-guessed any of his decisions, it was as though he had had a good luck charm with him in the OR.

“You weren't so bad yourself” 

“You've always been a pretty good teacher, today was no different” Levi shrugged, not fully accepting the praise that Nico was giving him. It was odd, for a brief moment as they spoke, both of them had forgotten their heartbreak and anger, that was until Levi's phone chimed loudly and Nico watched as his face lit up even more as he read the text.

“Good news?”

“My boyfriend is downstairs, he apparently brought me something to eat and was wondering if I could hang out for a bit” Levi explained, quickly typing a reply to Emmett “Is it okay if I grab lunch?”

“Of course, I'll just do the post-op notes and page you if I need you” Nico nodded and before he knew it, Levi was thanking him and heading out of the room. The moment of friendship between them fading. Levi was still grinning by the time his eyes settled on Emmett, sitting at a table in the hospital's cafeteria with two take-out boxes and drinks placed in front of him. 

“Hey, you” Levi smiled, greeting Emmett with a kiss on the cheek before taking the seat across from him “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I was worried about you today considering what day it was so I thought I'd do my best to cheer you up with some lunch” Emmett shrugged and Levi's heart warmed, touched by his boyfriend's actions. It had been a month since their first date and about two weeks since they'd officially decided to refer to each other as boyfriends and so far Emmett had been nothing but the perfect boyfriend. He got on well with both Jo and Taryn, doted on Levi, listened to his stories and rants with interest and care, and most importantly respected Levi's wishes to go slow. Levi was almost sure that Emmett could do no wrong.

“You're the best, thank you” Levi shared a sad smile with Emmett as he opened the container in front of him to reveal a BLT. He lifted the bread to see no tomatoes on his sandwich and let out a sigh of relief, of course, Emmett had remembered how much he hated tomatoes and asked for none to be put on his sandwich “I could get used to this, having you surprise me at work”

“Maybe I'll have to make a habit of it” Emmett winked, glad to see Levi smiling. When they'd woken up at Emmett's place that morning, after a lovely night in followed by a night of cuddling, Levi had seemed rather down when he realized what date it was and after some gentle pressing, he'd explained to Emmett why. Emmett's heart had broken slightly for the man he was lucky enough to call his boyfriend and had vowed to himself that he'd figure out a way to cheer his boyfriend up in someway "  
“So how's your day been going? I bumped into Jo when I arrived and she told me that you'd probably be finishing up in surgery”

“Yeah, Nico and I were operating on this kid, we removed masses from his femur bone. It was a pretty fun surgery”

“That's good” Emmett replied, pursing his lips. Usually, he loved hearing about the surgeries that Levi did but hearing him be so excited about a surgery that he had assisted Nico with stirred up a rather bitter feeling in Emmett's stomach “It's nice to know that you had fun with Nico”

“I know, describing surgery as fun is weird” Levi laughed, not realizing how frosty Emmett's tone was. He just thought his boyfriend was teasing him as normal and realizing that Levi saw nothing wrong with what he said, Emmett let out a breath realizing he was probably overreacting “It's not as fun as having lunch with you though, this is definitely the highlight of my day”

-

Nico was standing at the surgical board, looking to see if there was anything worth watching from the gallery when Levi walked past him quickly with his head hung as though he was upset. Nico's eyes gaze trailed after him and before he knew it, he'd instinctively followed Levi into an on-call room. Once he'd closed the door behind him and switched on the light, Nico frowned as his eyes settled on Levi who was sitting on the bed desperately wiping tears from his eyes.

"So I guess the rough morning turned into a rough day?" Nico asked, with raised eyebrows. Levi nodded instead of answering, not trusting himself to not let out a sob if he opened his mouth ”Look Levi is Emmett upset you then maybe you should grab a cup of coffee and do some charting. You don't look like you should be in an OR any time soon”

“Why do you think Emmett upset me?” Levi asked, his tone both defensive and venomous although it lost some of its bite due to the tears streaming down his face. He couldn't figure out why Nico would possibly drag Emmett into this or really, why Nico was even in the on-call room with him, to begin with. Nico furrowed his brow at Levi, confused as to what he'd possibly said to earn such an angry response.

"Well you seemed good the last time I saw you, then the two of you had lunch and now you're crying in an on-call room" Nico explained as though it was obvious "Sorry, I just made an assumption"

"No I'm sorry, you're just trying to be nice" Levi sighed, knowing that if anyone would understand why he was so upset it would be Nico "Today, today would have been my Uncle Saul's birthday and this morning when I woke, I had a text from my mother"

"You're mother? I didn't realize you two were talking again"

“We're not” Levi confirmed, things were still very tense with his mom who didn't even know that he and Nico had broken up, let alone the fact he was now dating Emmett. When he'd woken up that morning, he'd struggled to explain to Emmett the significance of the date without tearing up but the text from his mother had been the last straw and caused Levi to let the tears finally fall. “She had gotten a text from my aunt Gertal, apparently Saul left me some money in his will. She just wants me to get in touch with the lawyer”

"You were expecting something more weren't you?" Nico asked softly. He knew that despite Levi's better judgment that he had remained optimistic about his mother coming around and being reminded that she hadn't on what should've been his uncle's birthday had probably not been the nicest thing.

“I thought that maybe she'd wanted to check-in, realized her mistake” Levi admitted, wiping his eyes once again “Do you think I'm an idiot?”

“Of course not! She's the idiot for not accepting you” Nico said firmly, hoping Levi would believe him “You are one of the best people I know and your mom is one of the most stupid”

Neither Levi nor Nico could quite explain what happened next but before they knew it, they had their arms wrapped around one another in a tight hug. Maybe it was the nice things that Nico had been saying or the fact he just needed comfort but Levi felt himself relax within Nico's grasp as the other man gently rested his chin on top of Levi's head, gently breathing in the smell of his citrus shampoo. It the sort of hug that both of them had been craving and Nico couldn't help but whisper three words he'd been wanting to say all day in a voice barely loud enough for Levi to hear.

“I miss you”


	5. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've genuinely been trying to get this update written out since Saturday night but kept getting interrupted or sidetracked so I'm so glad to finally be posting it! I hope this chapter is worth the wait...enjoy...

“I miss you”

Those three words, that Nico had told him in a barely audible whisper, played on an endless loop in Levi's mind even though it had been days since he'd heard them. Days ago he'd stood in an on-call room with Nico's arms around him and it had felt as though nothing had changed, he'd felt as safe and comfortable in his ex-boyfriend's arms as he did during their time together. It had been perfect until Nico's words reminded Levi that they were no longer together. As Levi looked at the sleeping blond-haired man whose bed he was laying in, his stomach knotted with guilt as he thought once again of Nico.

Levi wasn't even sure had the other man uttered those words or if they had simply been something that Levi had been wishing to hear. Nico had barely reacted when they broke apart and Levi acted as though nothing had happened, a tactic he'd used to protect himself at that moment. Something about working with Nico and hearing him claim to miss him had changed something within Levi, his seething anger for how he'd been treated had begun to fade and he began remembering all the reason he'd loved the man in the first place. It was a rather frustrating thing actually so Levi decided to ignore it. His head was already too muddled up by the fact his mother had texted him on what would have been his uncle's birthday. The entire day had been far too much for Levi to handle and he hadn't felt guilty for declining Emmett's invitation to hang that evening, he did however feel guilty for ignoring Nico's admission.

The admission that he'd thought of when he'd spotted Nico in the hospital, when he and Jo stood in line at the grocery store, and worst of all when he and Emmett had finally hung out again. Levi had come to Emmett's place the night he had convinced himself that it would help him forget Nico but it hadn't, not even the in the slightest. They had ordered dinner and talked about the latest gossip from their workplaces, their plans for the upcoming weekend, and the fact that Travis, Emmett's best friend and ex-boyfriend, wanted to finally meet the man that Emmett hadn't shut up about. The fact that Emmett seemed so excited about the meeting when Levi confirmed it was something that he'd be up for had made Levi wonder if it would ever be possible for Nico to exist in his life in the same capacity that Emmett and Travis existed in each other. When they'd worked together, Levi had thought that maybe it was a possibility until Nico shattered that thought by following him into the on-call room.

Levi hated to admit to himself that he was still thinking about Nico when he agreed to spend the night at Emmett's place once the movie they'd put on the TV and ignored in favor of making out had ended. He wasn't sure why he was still thinking of the other man, especially when he was happy with Emmett, something he kept having to remind himself as they cuddled. As he'd fallen asleep with Emmett's arms wrapped firmly around him, Levi wondered if he could confide in anyone about his current predicament because he knew there was no way in which he could keep these thoughts to himself without going crazy. Over the past few weeks of dating, Emmett had become the one that Levi confided in the most, he'd shown both understanding and sympathy when Levi talked about his mother and showed his support whenever Levi rambled about surgeries. Emmett was one of the most understanding people that Levi had ever met but Levi doubted Emmett would be too understanding if he were to hear that Levi couldn't stop thinking about his ex-boyfriend.

Levi had momentarily thought about approaching Taryn but realized that given how often she voiced her love of Emmett and claimed that Levi had traded up from Nico, Levi was certain she wouldn't understand. Jo, however, Levi had decided might be the only person who could fully see the issue and he had decided that the next time they were home alone together and not rushing off to work or meet their boyfriends, that he'd have to talk to her.

“You're staring” Emmett's raspy morning voice pulled Levi from his thoughts. Not only did the sound of Emmett's voice surprise Levi but it sent a tingle down his spine, there was something undeniably sexy about his boyfriend in the morning. His light brown hair was quite frankly a mess and his eyes were not even fully open but Emmett was grinning at Levi who found the man's expression to be infectious.

“It's not a crime” Levi commented, whenever they spent the night at the loft Levi always woke up earlier than Emmett. Usually, Levi would have snuck out of the bed, careful not to wake Emmett, so that he could make breakfast and shower and avoid having to rush out the door to work but he hadn't felt comfortable enough to do that at Emmett's apartment just yet. He knew that both of them would end up rushing but he'd enjoyed having a few extra moments in bed next to Emmett before the alarm went off.

“What were you thinking about?”

“Just how beautiful you look in the morning” Levi lied before moving to kiss Emmett's cheek, unwilling to admit that he'd been thinking about how much more comfortable he'd always felt in Nico's apartment in comparison to Emmett's. Some thoughts were just best kept to himself.

“You're such a sap” Emmett playfully rolled his eyes, secretly loving that fact about his boyfriend. He wasn't quite sure how he got so lucky with Levi, a sentiment he often expressed to both Levi and Travis, and he certainly wasn't prepared for the next few days knowing how their schedules were going to become. Nothing could beat spending time with Levi “Do you want to go for dinner tonight? I feel like both of us are going to be so busy over the next few days and I'm gonna end up missing you”

“That sounds like a great idea, and I know just the place”

-

Nico didn’t bother looking up from the medical journal he was reading when he heard the door of his apartment open and Mabel's gentle cursing as she struggled to shut it again while balancing their coffees. He only smiled to himself, knowing that someday when she got sick of hanging out with him that he would at least have the memories of her cursing at his door to look back on fondly. Ever since his breakup with Levi, Nico had learned the benefits of having good memories to reflect on when missing someone. So, he had become determined to make them with anyone who was foolish enough to get tangled in the mess that was his life so that when they left like Levi did, he could still feel joy reflecting on the fact they'd been part of his life at all.

Mabel firmly placed the paper coffee cup on the counter in front of him with a force that made a drop of the liquid leap from the cup out of the opening on the lid and slide down the side of the cup. Nico finally looked up from what he was reading and cocked his head to the side, confused by her anger “Who pissed you off?”

“You” she replied simply, never being one to beat around the bush. He only hummed as he took a sip of his coffee, knowing that thanking her for bringing it would do nothing to deter the lecture that he was so in for. When they'd been talking on the phone the previous night, he'd accidentally told her about the incident between him and Levi in the on-call room and was fully aware that she was unimpressed. “I can't believe you told Levi you missed him and then sent me to pick up coffees from the café his boyfriend works at. It's like you're trying to make my life awkward”

“Okay firstly, I didn't send you to the café! When I told you should stop my apartment for coffee before work, I meant that I'd make it” Nico reminded Mabel as she dug in her backpack for the pastries that she'd purchased from the café, smiling when she presented him with one. “Secondly, how is my mistake making your life awkward? I'm the one who has to face Levi who did not care about what I'd said”

“Like I said last night, he probably didn't hear you which is why he didn't react” Mabel replied softly as Nico bit into his pasty, he truly couldn't be more thankful to have her as a friend. A lot of people had wondered how the two of them had even stuck up a friendship and in truth, it had taken a while for Nico to realize they had. For the first few months of Mabel's time at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, she and Nico had been pretty friendly with one another. They'd worked some cases together, eaten lunch together, and shared tidbits of hospital gossip with another. It was a bond that Nico had been thankful for during a time that most of the other residents hated him, it made his work life far more bearable. What Nico didn't realize until Mabel asked him to dinner one night after a particularly grueling shift was that their friendship went beyond professional kindness. Mabel still laughed at the memory of Nico's surprise and awkward attempt to let her down gently when he thought she was asking him out on a date. When she'd confirmed she was asking to dinner as nothing but a friend, Nico had instantly agreed. He was happy to finally have a friend in Seattle and since then, they'd become practically inseparable. “Schmitt's not the type to ignore something like that”

“I know he heard me. I know Levi, I know what it's like when he's pretending” Nico shook his head, still not accepting Mabel's attempts at making him feel better about Levi's reaction. Nico still couldn't believe that those words had left his mouth, a small bitter part of him was almost thankful that Levi had ignored them “Anyway, you still haven't answered my question. how is this making your life awkward?”

“I have to work with Levi and his boyfriend works at my favorite café. How am I supposed to look either of them in the eye when I'm actively hoping for them to break-up?” Mabel asked with a raised eyebrow. She'd spent the last few weeks encouraging Nico to move on and he was surprised to hear that she wanted Levi and Emmett to break up and from the way she chuckled at him, Mabel probably knew exactly what Nico was thinking “What? I may make fun of you a lot but I am actually rooting for you getting the guy. You deserve some happiness”

“Thank you” Nico smiled, her words meaning more to him than she could ever know. Mabel smiled back at him and after a brief pause, she decided to change topics of conversation, sensing that talking about Levi this early in the morning probably wasn't how Nico wanted to start his day.

“Are we still on for tonight? I finally got my new TV set up so we won't have to watch tonight's episode on your phone” Mabel asked, despite already knowing the answer. Since they'd started hanging out together outside of work and learning they shared the same love for trashy reality shows, it had become a tradition for them to get take out and watch the Bachelor at her place each week on the night they both had off from work. Nico grinned as he nodded, already excited for their evening plans “Great, I was wondering how you feel about getting Korean BBQ? It's all I've been craving lately”

“I can pick it up on the way over. I know just the place”

_

“Korean Barbeque?” Emmett's eyes focused on the restaurant's sign, wondering how to possibly pronounce the name of where they were eating. Levi had been very coy all day about where they were going to have dinner “I didn't know you'd were a fan”

“I was scared to try it the first time but the food is pretty amazing. Trust me Em, I know my way around the menu here” Levi smiled, sensing his boyfriend's apprehension. Emmett let out a small sigh of relief, glad that at least Levi knew what awaited them inside the restaurant. It wasn't that Emmett was necessarily scared of trying new things, he just preferred having someone who could guide him through it all. Something, he was relieved that Levi had remembered from their double date they'd went on with Taryn and her girlfriend, where none of them knew the exact workings of a paintball gun. Levi broke his hand from Emmett's and pushed the door to the restaurant open, panicking when instead of opening fully, the door hit something or rather someone who cursed loudly.

“Oh my god! I am so sorry si-Nico?” Levi's eyes widened as his eyes settled on who he'd hit with the door of the restaurant. Nico stood there, clutching his two takeout bags tightly in the arm that Levi hadn't hit with the door. Both of them more shocked by the coincidence of running into one another at the restaurant rather than the fact Nico had just been hit with a door. Emmett's ears perked up at the mention of Nico's name and did his best not to let his eyes go as large as Levi's as the other man stepped out from the doorway, he'd never known Levi's ex-boyfriend was that attractive. “What are you doing here?”

“Just picking up dinner” Nico replied, holding up his two bags to show Levi. When Mabel had mentioned her craving for Korean Barbeque that morning, Nico had instantly decided that he'd pick food up from his favorite place in town Baegopa. He just had never expected Levi would be there too. When they had first started dating, it had taken quite some time to convince Levi that he'd enjoy the food there, however after the first date they'd had at the restaurant it had become their place. They were practically on a first-name basis with every server there considering how often they had their date nights there and Nico was almost certain that between the two of them, they had sampled everything on the menu. “What about you?”

“I'm on a date” Levi admitted awkwardly, his words shattering Nico's heart slightly. Levi hadn't even considered the fact Baegopa was a restaurant that Nico frequented and that there was a chance he and Emmett might run into him but it seemed as the universe had wanted to torment him further. He'd spent the past few days thinking about Nico, of course, he'd end up running into him when those thoughts had finally left his mind and he was looking forward to enjoying Emmett's company. A silence fell between them for a second before Emmett gently cleared his throat, gently demanding an introduction “Oh Nico this is my boyfriend Emmett. Em this is Nico, my ex-boyfriend”

The fondness in Nico's voice as he spoke paired with the fact he had enough food for two in his hands, calmed Emmett's nerves slightly. If Nico had plans with someone else maybe he had nothing to worry about?


	6. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't planning on updating here for a couple of more days but the Schmico scenes in last night's episodes got me so inspired and I've been excited about this particular chapter since I began planning this fic out so it had to be done...enjoy...

“That was-”

“Yeah” Emmett let out a shaky breath as he laid on his back next to Levi, staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom. Their bodies were drenched in sweat as their limbs were tangled amongst each other and the various blankets that were draped over them haphazardly. Emmett's bedroom was still drenched in the darkness of night but Emmett felt wide awake, having gained quite a lot of energy from the activity that he and Levi had just engaged with one another.

When they'd met Nico outside the Korean barbeque restaurant, Emmett had been fairly certain that his and Levi's date would end up awkward and uncomfortable but he'd been happily proven wrong. Just like their first date, which had taken place nearly three months ago, the conversation had flowed effortlessly over dinner but the flirting had been bolder now that they'd knew exactly what the other had liked. While they tended to flirt in a series of metaphors and subtle touches under the table, it was enough to convince Emmett to invite Levi back to his place and for Levi to not think twice about accepting. Originally, the invitation had just been for another drink but when they found themselves both more than eager to go beyond the shirtless making out that they usually indulged in, they headed straight to Emmett's bedroom. Their drinks still sitting ignored on Emmett's coffee table.

Weeks ago when they'd discussed the reality of what existed between them and Emmett asked Levi to be his boyfriend, they'd decided to take it slow. They'd come to this agreement for a number of reasons such as the fact Emmett had a rather complicated dating history that had muddled his view of a healthy relationship and Levi still had the scars that Nico had left on his heart. Taking it slowly until they were familiar with one another until they were comfortable with one another had proved to be the right decision because when they found themselves in bed together it hadn't been daunting or stressful.

Sleeping together had been slow and tender and Emmett had loved every single second of it.

Levi just wished that he felt the same.

It wasn't that he hadn't wanted to sleep with Emmett, if he was being honest sleeping with Emmett had been something he had been ready to do for quite some time. No, he hadn't enjoyed every second of it because he hated the fact that he'd found himself thinking of Nico before and after the event. It had put a damper on the actual activities that he and Emmett had partaken in, activities that had provided Levi with the pleasure his body had been craving for quite some time. He couldn't help but wonder who the second bag of takeout had been for and why it bothered him so much. 

He'd moved on and he wanted, no he needed Nico to do the same so that their relationship was truly something of the past. Levi just wished the thought of Nico with anyone else didn't fill him with such uncontrollable jealousy and anger. 

Everything with Emmett before Nico had followed him into that on-call room to tell him that he missed him and the fact infuriated Levi. Nico had no right to say things like that to him, not when he was the one to blame for the breakup in the first place. Sometimes when Levi would reflect on his relationship with Nico and their break-up, something he did more than he was willing to admit to even himself, Levi found himself thinking their breakup was underwhelming. It was a strange thought he knew but considering how much fire and passion that their relationship had started with when Nico had kissed him in the elevator for the first time, the fact they hadn't even raised their voices during their breakup. They had walked away from one another as if they were two strangers rather than two people heartbroken over the end of their relationship. Levi had held back because it had taken place at work and assumed Nico had held back for the same reason as well as his unwillingness to ever talk about how he felt and Levi wished that there was a way to tell Nico everything he didn't say.

“What's wrong?” Emmett asked timidly, glad that it was dark within the room so that Levi couldn't see the obvious panic in his eyes. Travis and the others had teased him quite a lot for not having a good poker face at the last poker night he'd joined in on and he knew it was true, he wore his true feelings on his face and his heart upon his sleeve. His father had told him it was soft, Alicia said it was adorable and Travis had once branded it dangerous. Emmett wondered if it was something that Levi had noticed yet and how he felt about the fact his boyfriend was so easy to read.

Emmett was almost certain that Levi hadn't noticed this particular trait of his just yet because if he had, Levi would know exactly how Emmett felt about him. He wasn't quite sure when it had happened, the realization that his feelings stretch further beyond simple infatuation but he was in love with Levi and felt as he may burst into a million pieces if he didn't declare it loudly. Levi was kind and charming and so intelligent that his humility and patience were almost shocking. 

Levi was everything that Emmett was sure he wanted in a man and if he had learned anything during his terrifying stint as a firefighter, it was that you should never hide your truth. He wanted to shout it from the rooftop that he loved Levi Schmitt but something kept him from doing so at that exact moment. Probably the way that Levi was tapping his fingers against his mattress, a nervous tick that Emmett had noticed that the other man possessed. 

“Why do you think there's something wrong?”

“You just don't seem too happy right now”

“I'm happy, ecstatic even it's just I'm also so tired” Levi replied, hoping his fake yawn was convincing. If he could get Emmett to fall asleep, he could lay there in silent thought with a little less guilt bubbling within his stomach. He felt guilty for thinking about Nico at that moment, for thinking about how angry he was with him when he should've been as happy as he was trying to convince his boyfriend that he was. Nico wasn't even around and yet he'd still found a way to invade Levi's mind and ruin his night, in a way that only Nico could seemingly do. Levi paused for a moment and bit his lip, nervous that something may be wrong with Emmett “Are you okay? That, what we did was enjoyable for you too right?”

“More than enjoyable” Emmett found himself smirking despite the fact that Levi couldn't see him. He knew that he'd had more experience with men than Levi had and he found himself wanting to reassure the man, figuring that the reason for his silence was that he was self-conscious. Emmett's words weren't just empty compliments though, he'd truly enjoyed every second of their time together.

“You flatter me” Levi replied with a small chuckle, it was nice to be with someone so uncomplicated. Levi knew that Emmett had baggage in the form of an ex-fiancée, an unapproving father, and a history of cheating. Unlike Nico, Emmett embraced his baggage and didn't let it weigh him down and it was something that Levi couldn't help but find admirable.

“Only because I love you” Emmett whispered into the darkness, trying not to feel hurt when he felt Levi tense up beside him. Emmett was well aware that Levi wouldn't be prepared to say those words back to him just yet but he didn't think Levi would be so shocked to hear them.

“Em, I-”

“No, don't say anything” Emmett replied, his gentle tone hiding his hurt from his boyfriend and the darkness hiding the hurt in his eyes “You don't have to say it back to me until you're ready, I just thought you should know”

“Thank you” 

It was probably a stupid reply but Levi couldn't think of anything else to say and he felt the tension ease from his shoulders slightly as Emmett wrapped his hands around him in a gesture that conveyed he was ready to fall asleep while cuddling. Levi was thankful his reaction hadn't caused a fight between them but as Emmett drifted to sleep, Levi found himself wide awake. 

Wondering if he would ever be able to give Emmett the reply he wanted without delivering a few truths to Nico first.

-

“I can't believe you said thank you” Taryn shook her head. They were leaning against the nurse's station, catching up in a way they'd been unable to do as of late due to their busy work schedules and fulfilling relationships. Taryn had gushed about her girlfriend for a solid ten minutes before asking Levi about Emmett and she was shocked by what he had revealed “You say thank you when someone holds the door for you or brings you coffee, not when they say they love you”

“I know, I just didn't know what else to say to him” he bounced on the balls of his feet awkwardly. He knew that Taryn was very supportive of his relationship with Emmett and ever since the incident in the on-call room with Nico, Levi had avoided the topic with her completely. He was afraid that he'd end up admitting to the fact he was still having thoughts about the man and the last thing Levi wanted was to hear a rant about how Nico had mistreated him.

“I mean, I suppose it makes sense” Taryn shrugged surprising Levi, he had been certain that she was going to make fun of him until she had to scrub in for the surgery she was assisting Dr. Hayes with. The last thing he'd been expecting from Taryn was understanding “The last guy you said those three words to was horrible to you, I get why you would hesitate to say them again. I think you should remember though, Emmett is not Nico. For starters, he's way more fun to hang out with”

“You're very helpful” Levi commented rolling his eyes, wondering why he thought he might get some genuine advice from his best friend. She'd spent the past two years pining after Meredith Grey, an attending who barely knew her name, Taryn was the last person who should be trusted to advise on matters of the heart.

“I try my best” she replied, not annoyed at Levi's sarcasm “I'm serious though. You traded up with Emmett so whatever is blocking you from admitting to yourself that you love him is something you need to just get over”

“I think that will be easier said than done” Levi sighed as he spotted Nico walk into one of the on-call rooms, laughing as he talked into his phone. Levi wasn't sure why it was a sight that filled him with such anger, he just hated seeing Nico so carefree when once again Levi's world was imploding because of him “but I think I might give it a shot”

“Let me know if there is any way I can help” Taryn smiled kindly, unaware of the fire in her friend's veins and the idea formulating in his mind as she checked her watch “I have to go prep for surgery, I'll see you later”

“Yeah, see you later” Levi waved her off, barely comprehending what she said as he took a steadying breath, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to do. If he wanted to be with Emmett, then he needed to get full closure on his relationship with Nico. It was the only way to rid his mind of the thoughts of Nico that had invaded it ever since he'd whispered those three words.

I miss you.

The three words repeated in Levi's mind as his feet padded against the hallway floor from the nurses' station to the on-call room that he'd spotted Nico enter. Nico didn't even look from his phone, which he was now texting on rather than speaking into until Levi shut the door and began to speak in the most chilling voice.

“You miss me”

“Excuse me?” Nico asked, confused by Levi's statement and concerned about the harsh anger plastered across his face. They both knew that the accusation was true and Nico's heart sunk upon realizing what Levi was referencing, he had heard him and he'd chosen to ignore him. Until now.

“Oh don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about, for once in your life don't pretend with me” Levi scoffed, assuming Nico was trying to play dumb. Levi had never been one for confrontation but he'd been holding this in for too long and now he was ready to explode like a soda can that had been shaken far too many times. Nico stood up to leave but couldn't seem to urge his feet to move, he sighed wondering if a part of him needed to hear whatever it was Levi so clearly needed to say to him. “I mean I can look past your arrogance, hell I learned to find that shit endearing and I learned to live with the way you shut down when bad things happened. I could get over that but I can't get over the game of pretending that you play or the hypocrisy”

With each word Levi had jabbed his finger in Nico's direction, appearing far more threatening and angry than Nico had ever seen him. He'd moved away from his spot by the door as he spoke and was within three steps of Nico. He knew it was cruel to do so when they both knew that Levi was speaking the truth but Nico stared him down, in an act of self-preservation, before he spoke “I don't know what you're talking about”

“You called me a baby gay and accused me of having a shame spiral” Levi had to resist the urge to shout at Nico, they were still at work and he didn't want to draw unwanted attention to the fact the two of them were arguing in an on-call room “You took offense to the fact I wasn't out to my mother yet you still play straight for your parents”

“It's different” 

“How?” Levi seethed, taking yet another step towards Nico.

“Because you were treating me like I didn't matter like I was someone you could hide away and enjoy in secret. I didn't force you to come out to your mother Levi! I just wanted you to stop acting as if I was unimportant to you” Nico replied, his voice cracking as he tried not to let tears well in his eyes. "I can't come out to my parents and just because they don't know I'm gay doesn't mean I'm not proud of who I am. Just because two people don't know doesn't make me any less of a proud gay Asian man and if you think otherwise if you think-"

Levi took another step forward and bundled a fistful of Nico's shirt in his hand so that he could pull him closer, making the other man whimper at the touch. Levi's lips were on Nico's before the latter could finish his rant and they melted together. The kiss was similar to the first one they had shared in the elevator that day but with more neediness and less intrigue. Both of them had been craving this kiss for too long. Levi began to move forward so that he could push Nico's body against the wall so that his body would still be supported as Levi's hands explored his body but he was shocked when Nico pushed him away, looking more hurt and broken than ever before.

"You don't get to kiss me like that when you have a boyfriend"


	7. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started writing this fic, I thought it'd interest like three or four people. I can genuinely say that I have been blown away by the number of kudos, comments, and hits that this fic has received. Thank you all so much! I can't believe I'm almost finished with this fic, it has been all-consuming as of late in the best way possible, I don't think I've had this much genuine fun writing in quite some time. Now let's see the aftermath of that kiss...enjoy...

“What no foam art?” Travis frowned, eyes fixed firmly on the coffee that Emmett had just served him. He had swung by the café after the lunch rush had died down and was more than happy to join Emmett for his break, it had felt like it had been ages since the two of them had had a proper chance to hang out in awhile. Once Emmett had slipped into the chair across from him, Travis looked up from the foamy mess of his coffee and furrowed his brow “What's wrong? You never pass up the opportunity to do coffee heart, I was expecting at least a foam love heart that I could send to Vic”

“Can I ask you something personal?” Emmett asked awkwardly, ignoring Travis' questions about the lack of foam art on his latte. The café where he worked was probably not the most appropriate place to have this conversation but it was quiet and Emmett knew he wouldn't survive much longer if he kept his thoughts to himself. Travis nodded, hesitantly, as his mind rushed with possible questions that Emmett might have and Emmett inhaled nervously, hoping he wasn't crossing a line “How long was it before you told Michael that you loved him?”

“Three weeks” Travis answered, smiling to himself after a heavy pause. He'd been pretty surprised by Emmett's question but he didn't mind talking about his late husband. That was something he never passed up the opportunity to do. “It was after a five-alarm fire, you know how grueling they can be. I spotted him by the rig and brought him over a bottle of water. We were both exhausted and covered in soot and he declared that he loved me. I didn't even pause before saying it back. Some might say it was a bit premature but we'd spent the day seeing how quickly a life could be lost and knew better than to keep in our feelings… Why do you ask?”

Travis' question followed a brief pause in which he'd taken a mouthful of his latte to distract himself from the pain in his chest as the memory. Emmett avoided his friend's gaze as he answered, feeling guilty for forcing his friend into speaking about his late husband.

“I told Levi that I loved him” Emmett replied and Travis grinned widely, prepared to congratulate his friend until Emmett quickly continued “And he thanked me”

“He thanked you?”

“Yeah.. .” Emmett trailed off awkwardly. He sighed loudly before resting his chin in his hand “What's wrong with me Trav? Why is it that the men, you and Levi, that I say those three words to never say it back?”

Travis frowned. That was definitely a loaded question and one that he'd much prefer to answer over a couple of beers rather than coffee. He and Emmett had been friends for months now and Travis supposed it was about time he offered the other man an explanation “I can't speak for Levi but Emmett, I couldn't fall in love with you. It wasn't anything to do with you though. It was to do with me and Michael and the fact that the parts of my heart that broke when he died haven't been mended yet”

Emmett didn't miss how Travis' eyes drifted to his left hand which no longer displayed his wedding ring. The silence settled between the pair, both too lost within their thoughts. Emmett couldn't' imagine losing Levi in the same way that Travis had lost Michael, hell he couldn't imagine life without Levi at all. It was too painful.

Since they had begun dating, Levi had become the best part of Emmett's day. Never before had he known someone whose every word, he wanted to give his full attention to even when the topic was a subject that didn't interest him. Emmett would happily listen to Levi ramble about surgeries and medical studies just so that they could spend time together and he could admire his gorgeous boyfriend. Time with Levi was something that Emmett wouldn't trade for anything and he loved that even when they were apart that were constantly texting one another. 

Well, usually. Levi had been suspiciously quiet that day and Emmett was hoping it was down to the man's busy schedule rather than his own admission of love the previous night.

“I hope you find someone you can love like that again Travis, if that's what you want” Emmett admitted truthfully, after a few more minutes of silent reflection. He'd spent so many years hiding who he truly was behind his relationship with Alicia that he'd thought he'd never get to experience true love. Now that he had it Emmett didn't plan on letting it go, even if Levi wasn't ready to say it just yet.

“I do as well” Travis smiled sadly, not believing that he would ever find someone quite like Michael “I hope Levi is the person who was made for you like Michael was for me. The two of you are great together and it's obvious how much you care about him”

“I'm just scared that I've messed it all up by telling him how I feel” Emmett sighed. Although everything had been normal when they'd woken up that morning and gotten ready for the day in Emmett's apartment, Levi had been quieter than normal. It was almost as if he was planning something and Emmett couldn't help but fear that Levi was planning how best to break up with him. They had agreed to take things slow and once again, Emmett had jumped into a relationship headfirst. He'd probably terrified Levi. “I wonder if this is karma? I mean after cheating on Alicia, maybe I'm supposed to know what it's like to love someone this intensely without them loving me back”

“Have you always been this dramatic?” Travis couldn't help but chuckle at Emmett's words “Karma would be if Levi was cheating on you and he doesn't seem the type to do that. He's too kind. He probably just needed some more time than you, some time to realize how he feels”

“Maybe, you're right. I mean, I told him to say it whenever he felt it was right and knowing Levi, that'll probably be during some well-planned romantic moment” Emmett smiled, his conversation with Travis having eased his mind slightly. he was just about to ask Travis about work in an attempt to change their conversation from his love life when his phone chimed with a notification. Emmett quickly glanced at it and swallowed as an anxious knot began to form in his stomach.

“Is everything alright?”

“It's Levi” Emmett explained “He just texted me, apparently we need to talk”

“Oh. What if he wants to say that he loves you?”

“Or what if he wants to break up with me?”

-

“What's happened? Your text sounded urgent” Mabel asked, once she had opened the door of her apartment to Nico. He'd just finished a shift at the hospital but had texted her much earlier in the day declaring that word sucked and that he needed to get drunk. It wasn't an uncommon sentiment within their text thread but his lack of emojis had worried Mabel who had spent the afternoon readying her apartment with whatever Nico may want or need. She had his favorite gin, plenty of junk food, and takeout menus laid out on her coffee table and had her guest room prepared so that he could sleep off his drunkness without either of them having to worry about him getting home.

Mabel noticed how Nico was tightly clutching a bottle of gin that he must have picked up on his way over and spotted that the bottle wasn't entirely full. She swallowed nervously, whatever had happened to her friend had obviously been something terrible.

“He kissed me” Nico answered, not moving from the doorway. He still couldn't quite believe that mere hours ago, Levi's lips had been on his and that he had had the willpower to push him off. If the rational side of his brain had not won his inner conflict, Nico would have done whatever Levi had wanted to do at that moment. It was a fact that terrified him.

“Who?” Mabel asked, almost certain that she already knew the answer, as she reached to prise the bottle of gin from Nico's hands.

“Levi”

It surprised Mabel that Nico had been able to reply without bursting into tears. That night that they had seen Levi with Emmett at Joe's bar, he had cried on her couch as soon as they entered her apartment. He had cried for what had been and what could have been. She may not have known Nico and Levi as a couple but it had been so obvious to her as he cried that Nico still loved the other man with his everything. It had broken Mabel's heart to see him that upset and she'd vowed at that moment that she'd do anything in her power to protect him from suffering that sort of pain ever again. 

Mabel couldn't help but ball her empty hand into a fist out of anger, remembering how she had overheard Levi gushing about Emmett just that morning. She couldn't believe that he'd kiss Nico when he was a taken man, it was simply cruel. Mabel moved from the doorway, fully understanding Nico's urgent need to drink “Come in. I'll get us some glasses and you can tell me everything”

Ten minutes later, Nico had told Mabel everything that had happened. From how he'd been heading into the on-call room for a nap to how good it had felt to kiss Levi again. Mabel wanted to go and scream loudly on Nico's behalf and couldn't understand how he was being so calm. It was almost worrying, especially when he let out a low and bitter laugh “…He had the audacity to look hurt when I told him he couldn't kiss me like that when he had a boyfriend. Can you believe him?”

“I honestly can't” Mabel shook her head in disbelief before they touched their shot glasses off one another and threw back their shot of gin. As the alcohol burned her throat, Mabel couldn't help but reflect on what her friend had just said: “Can I ask you something without you getting angry?”

“Yeah” Nico nodded. All of his anger was currently aimed at Levi because anger was an emotion that was far preferable to hurt “Go ahead”

“If he didn't have a boyfriend, would you have kept letting him kiss you like that? Would you have wanted him to?”

“I've been wanting Levi to kiss me like that ever since we broke up” Nico admitted with a blush tinging his cheeks. The day that he and Levi had broken up had been one of the worst days of Nico's life. He felt stupid for the amount of time he had spent hoping Levi would come running back to him, hopes that had been crushed when he'd spotted Levi and Emmett that night. Nico had never stopped loving Levi and even now as he sat on Mabel's couch cursing the man, Nico knew that he was still in love with Levi “If Levi didn't have a boyfriend, I would have gone all the way. I just couldn't make a cheater out of him, the guilt would kill him”

“He made himself into a cheater when he kissed you” Mabel commented, her tone icy. She had no time for cheaters but wanted to make sure that her friend knew that he wasn't to blame.

“Do you know what the worst part is thought?” Nico asked, raising his eyebrow at her. In that moment, Nico realized how thankful he was to have Mabel as a friend. She never judged him for his thoughts or feelings and respected his boundaries far more than other friends of his ever had. He knew that there would have been no way he would've survived the whole ordeal of Levi kissing him without being able to confide in Mabel.

“No, what?”

“If Levi was to walk through that door right now and declare that Emmett was out of the picture and he wanted to give us another chance, I would say yes in a heartbeat” Nico admitted. Mabel pursed her lips, deciding it best not to tell Nico that she had already known as much “Does that make me a terrible person?”

“I don't think so” Mabel replied honestly with a shake of her head “I think it just makes you someone that's in love”

-

When Nico had stormed out of the on-call room, Levi had sat back onto the bed in a state of shock. He couldn't quite believe that he had just gone from yelling at his ex-boyfriend to kissing him passionately in the blink of an eye. The worst part though was that until Nico had mentioned his boyfriend, Levi hadn't once thought about Emmett. The man who loved him.

All Levi had been able to think about as he kissed Nico with as much passion as he could conjure was that he had wanted that kiss to last forever. He had even wanted more than just the kiss, he had wanted to explore the man's body with his hands and see all the beautiful marks that graced his skin that was hidden underneath the navy scrubs that Nico donned. He had wanted everything with Nico at that moment and it terrified him.

After a few moments of feeling as though he was the worst person in the world, Levi had taken out his phone to text Emmett. All he had said was that they needed to talk, it was a text that might have instilled either hope or fear in Emmett but Levi couldn't bring himself to be too worried. With the ghost of Nico's lips lingering on his, all Levi had known was that he had to be honest with Emmett.

Now as he laid strewn across Jo's bed in the loft, Levi wondered if being honest with Emmett was just cruel. Emmett had been nothing but perfect to him ever since they had gotten together and didn't deserve the pain that and hurt that hearing Levi had kissed Nico would cause him.

He couldn't be the reason for two men to flee from him in a flurry of pain and hurt in one day.

A gentle knock sounded through the loft and Levi let out a breath that he wasn't aware that he was holding as he sat up. He knew that what he was about to do was cruel but he also knew that it had to be done. If Emmett had been the one to kiss his ex-boyfriend then Levi would have wanted to know and he felt as though honestly was the least that he owed his boyfriend.

“Hey you” Emmett gently kissed Levi in greeting and Levi hated himself for comparing such a chaste kiss to the one that he had shared with Nico hours early. A kiss that he should not still be reliving in his mind. “How was your day?”

“It was okay” Levi replied, leading Emmett towards the couch. Exchanging pleasantries was doing nothing to ease his nerves but he knew that he couldn't just spring his betrayal on the other man as soon as he walked through the door, especially considering how Emmett felt about him. Emmett loved him and that was probably the worst part of it all because Levi still didn't know if he loved the other man back. Thoughts of Emmett and Nico had been coursing through his mind for the hours between the kiss and Emmett coming by the apartment and Levi hated that after all that time thinking that he didn't have a concrete answer on how he felt for either man. All he knew is that he felt sorry for his part in hurting both of them “How was your day?”

“Pretty good. The café wasn't all that busy other than the usual lunchtime rush and I got to spend my break with Travis to catch up on some of the gossip from the station” Emmett answered purposefully leaving out that he and Travis had actually spent more time discussing his relationship with Levi rather than anything else. Emmett's palms were sweaty as he began to fumble with a loose thread that was poking out on one of the couch cushions, terrified of what Levi was going to spring on him “I'm surprised that you wanted me to come over tonight, I know you have an early shift tomorrow”

“I know but this conversation, it couldn't wait” Levi explained, guilt piercing through him as a hopeful glint began to shine in Emmett's eyes. Levi could feel a lump growing in his throat, he was about to crush the man and he hated himself for it.

“Really?”

“I kissed Nico” Levi replied in a pained whisper. The words hung in the air and Levi wished more than anything that he could take them back. Emmett's eyes were still focused on the loose thread as the reality of what Levi had said had dawned on him, it didn't feel real. Only that morning, Emmett had found himself agreeing with Travis who'd claimed that Levi wasn't the type to cheat yet hear he was admitting to doing just that “I'm sorry Em-”

“When?”

“What?” Levi asked confused. He'd expected Emmett to storm out once those words, not ask for details about the kiss.

“When did you kiss him, Levi?” Emmett asked, his voice filled with interest rather than anger. Levi wished he could tell what Emmett was thinking as he finally shifted his gaze upon him, a neutral expression plastered on his face but his eyes vacant of the hope that had been there just seconds earlier.

"Today, at work"

"So I told you that I loved you last night and today you went and kissed your ex-boyfriend?" Emmett asked slowly, growing angry when Levi nodded ashamed. Emmett stood up suddenly, he was afraid that if he stayed sitting next to Levi any longer that he may end up saying something that he'd later regret. He moved back from him and took a breath, they could get through this. Emmett knew it would be difficult and that it would take some time but he loved Levi and if the other man was willing to put it behind them then Emmett knew he could do it too. People had gotten through worse things than just a simple mistake of a kiss, people who loved one another could get through anything “Do you love me, Levi?”

Levi supposed the question shouldn't have taken him by surprise, if the roles were reversed he'd probably be wondering the same thing. He just hated that he couldn't give Emmett the answer that he was evidently so desperate to hear “I don't know”

“Do you love him?”

“I don't know” Levi replied after a brief spell of tense silence. He could've lied, denied any attraction to Nico but he'd been honest with Emmett so far and wasn't about to start lying. Sparing his feelings at that moment would probably only hurt him more down the line. The truth was that Levi had no idea how he truly felt about either man and he knew that he'd need some time to figure it out.

“I don't know”

“Well,” Emmett hated the way his voice cracked as he made his way to the door “When you figure out who it is you want, will you let me know?”


End file.
